Arlecchino - The serving clown of the commedia family. He is gifted physically, but lacks the mental awareness of a hamster.

Brighella - The schemer, he is the mastermind behing foils and plans to overcome the objections of the family patriarchs, Pantalone and Dottore.

The Capitan - A military braggart and vagabond, a scoundrel who serves the highest bidder or the prettiest face in the room.

The lovers - a young pair who are hopelessly in love with each other, but hopeless at the will of their bickering parents.

Columbina - the serving wench who runs the household with a sharp tongue and sharper stick. She is often the key to Brighella's scheme.

The Dottore - an over-educated moron, his higher-learning gives him confidance that is not matched by his actual intelligence.

Pantalone - the wealthy, yet miserly old man. His only concern is the satiation of his lust for what he can not have: infinite wealth, pleasures of the flesh, and control of his house.